a quirk about splurging

I’ve noticed something about myself. And yet, even though I now recognize this in me and should have figured out how to handle it by now, I still do it constantly. (In fact, I’m literally in the middle of this exact quirk as I write this - hence why I’m thinking about it right now.)

Let’s say I decide to splurge a little and buy myself a specific something - a book perhaps. $20 or so. I drive down to the store (or find it online, if my local store doesn’t have it - please support brick and mortar, people).

So there I am, holding the book in my hands at the store or staring at it in my shopping cart online. This is it: the thing I’ve decided to splurge on and buy for myself; the thing I really, really want right now (even if my sudden urge to have it is inexplicable - which it usually is).

But now that it’s right here at my fingertips, ready to be bought, I think, But you know, if I’m going to spend $20, is this really the thing I want the most for that price? 

Notice what happened there: suddenly I’ve decided that I have $20 to spend - it’s no longer splurging at this point; it’s just an extra $20 I’ve magically decided that I have. And I need to make sure I use it on just the right thing.

So I look around the store/website more, think about all the other things I could get for roughly $20. I come up with three, four, five other choices.

Oh, and what about the thing I was looking at last month that was right about $20? - I mean, I wanted it then, so surely I must still want it now. (I don’t.)

Ooh, and what’s this? - the sale section? My magical $20 would go a long way if I bought something from here instead of just that one book at full price. Maybe I could even get two books with my $20.

Well shoot. Now I’m just feeling overwhelmed. Better not buy anything until I’m sure I figure out the best way to use that $20 which totally isn’t fake at all. I’ll just have to research online to make sure I get exactly the right $20ish thing - or set of things, if each is less than $20. I mean, it’d be a waste if I didn’t spend the whole $20.

Mind you, the first thing - the thing that took me to the store in the first place - is still the thing I want the most. It’s just not necessarily the most efficient thing for me to get. Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know - gotta be careful with how we use it.

So I’ll bring Emily into the loop to get her take on it - even though she couldn’t care less what I buy with this imaginary $20. I mean, whatever I choose to buy is for me - what does she have to do with it?

Still, I bring her into my deliberation. And every time, her advice is precisely the same: Just get the thing you really want.

Yes, I wonder. But is that really the best thing to do with my completely real $20?

At this point, my predicament branches off into one of four directions, which I’ll list in order of least likely to most likely:

1. I realize that she’s right - if I’m going to spend money, it should at least be on the thing I want the most, rather than settling for what happens to be cheaper, or what seems like it just “makes the most sense” to buy. This outcome happens about 10% of the time.
2. I suddenly remember that I don’t actually have $20, so I buy nothing. This happens about 20% of the time. 
3. The thought crosses my mind that, really, if I’m going to spend money out of the blue like this, I ought to be nice and buy something for Emily or Emerson or Eden. That said, I get myself nothing, and buy a gift for one of them instead. There are actually two ways to consider the frequency of this outcome: 
1. This thought crosses my mind about 20% of the time. So there’s that.
2. When this thought does cross my mind, though, I know I’ll feel guilty if I don’t spend the money on one of them. And so, if the thought crosses my mind at all, there’s a roughly 95% chance I’m going to follow through with it. (The other 5% being that I decide to do nothing with the hypothetical money.)
4. I go against Emily’s advice and settle on something else cheaper or “more efficient,” even though it’s not the thing I really want, and even though I know I’m just going to stick it on the shelf and not read/play with/listen to it. But hey - it’s efficient, I think. This is the outcome about 50% of the time.

But it’s not that simple. (I imagine you’re thinking, That was simple?) For example, time of year has an impact on the decision making, as well.

Christmas is in three days. So now I’m thinking, I mean, Christmas is right around the corner. I shouldn’t be spending any money on myself. If nothing else, I should at least wait to see what I’m getting from other people. 

I counter this thought with, Easy - I’ll just make sure to get something that no one else would have thought to get me.

My brain is ready to keep debating, though. It says, Come to think of it, I might get some Christmas money or giftcards or something - might as well wait so that I can use those to buy The Thing instead of using this made-up $20.

Then I remind myself, Yes, but I have this $20 now which totally isn’t imaginary or hypothetical at all. So I can buy The Thing now, then use my Christmas money to buy another thing in a few days. 

Then I think, So that means I can buy The Thing I really want, and still get The More Efficient Thing That I Don't Really Want! Perfect! 

Then, Yes, but which should I get first?

So now I’m back to feeling overwhelmed and indecisive.

Oh, but here’s an idea! I think, Maybe I should use this $20 to buy something for Emily or Emerson or Eden instead. 

Then I think, Psh - they’re getting a bunch of stuff for Christmas in a few days anyway. 


Happy Christmas, friends!

Noah

I saw this little gem at the store one day:

Specifically, I'd like to draw your attention to the sticker in the bottom-left corner: "Based on the Best-Selling Book of All Time!"

Kind of a bit of a stretch, if you ask me. I mean, I know it's technically true, but...yikes.

I wonder why Darren Aronofsky didn't feel the need to add this sticker to the DVD cover for his movie(?)

Weird.

Apparently his movie is just "SPECTACULAR." So much for giving credit to the source material...

Anyway.

I find it particularly humorous when people complain that Aronofsky's film "isn't like the original."

I wonder: you know how long the "original" story of Noah is, right? It's literally three chapters in the book of Genesis (6, 7, 8) - in other words, right about 1,800 words. That's barely even the length of a modern short story.

So...you think that 1,800 words will turn into a full-length, two-hour movie, and somehow exactly resemble your interpretation of those 1,800 words?

Cute.

If you want the "real" story of Noah, it'd probably be a 10-minute movie. Who would see that?

Then again, people are always complain, saying,

"The movie is nothing like the book!"
"Of course the book is better."
etc. etc. etc.

So I guess I'm not surprised that people don't like Aronofsky's version.

I enjoyed the rock monsters, though. They were a nice touch.

And, to give credit where credit is due, I still like Aronofsky's rendition better than Hallmark's made-for-TV miniseries:

(Again, where is the "Based on the Best-Selling Book of All Time!" sticker? A lost opportunity, to be sure.)

I mean, F. Murray Abraham plays a pirate in that one, so you know it's going to be good.

Personally, I actually rather enjoyed Aronofsky's Noah - heck: I'd even go so far as to say it's better than the book.

Norman Rockwell, pt. 2 – or, How an American Painter Who Died Seven Years Before I Was Born Helped Me Realize that I’m Not Entirely Crazy After All

Thanks largely to my friend Randy McCoach, I have a bit of an update on my last post. (Make sure to read it first before proceeding with this one!)

As mentioned previously, I did hours of research over the course of a few days, trying to find any proof of the existence of a musical I believed that I was in when I was much younger. The musical, I believed, was called Norman Rockwell’s America.

Randy read my post, left a kind comment, and set to work. And this is what he discovered:

This clipping was from the July 2, 1993 edition of the San Bernardino County Sun (the county which Yucaipa is in).

Then, just to be extra sure, he did a bit more digging on my behalf, and pulled up one other gem:

Same paper, March 6, 1993 edition.

It turns out that I was wrong about the year – I had guessed ’90 or ’91; the musical actually took place in ’93. Oops. Also, this would mean that I was seven years old at the time of the performance (despite the casting call saying the minimum age was eight – I would have turned eight just a few weeks after the performances, though).

I was half-correct about a few other items, though:

1. I had the name exactly right – Norman Rockwell’s America – as well as the college venue – Crafton Hills College.
2. Crossroads Christian Fellowships of Redlands was the church my family was attending at the time. So yes, my connection to this musical came via church.
3. Though I’m still unsure of where this musical originated (who wrote it, etc.), my impression has strengthened that it was most likely a local affair (as opposed to an actual licensed musical).

Also, happily, it turns out there’s no need for me to scour YouTube in hopes that someone happened to have uploaded an amateur recording of the musical all these years later. In presenting all of this to my mom, she was able to present a VHS of the performance.

Now I just need a VCR (or, I suppose, I could find a company that will transfer it to a DVD for me).

I was happy to hear that I was also correct about the first two scenes that I modeled (The Runaway and Family Home From Vacation). No confirmation on the third scene yet – not until I find a way to watch the video, at least.

All this to say:

I’m glad my memory isn’t always out to lead me astray.

And I guess Alex Mandel is off the hook.

Despite these confirmations, I’m still holding out hopes that I might be a time-traveler, though. Seems like it could be fun.

Norman Rockwell - or, How an American Painter Who Died Seven Years Before I Was Born Is Making Me Doubt Everything I Think I Know About My Past

When I was much younger – 5 or 6 years old, I believe – I was in a musical. It was at a local college – Crafton Hills College in Yucaipa, California – and, of course, I only had a few rather minor roles. The musical must have happened in 1990 or ’91.

I don’t remember now exactly how I came to be involved in the play. I think maybe my parents made some sort of connection through church friends and subsequently got me hooked up with it.

If memory serves, I believe the musical at Crafton was called Norman Rockwell’s America, or something very similar. Every scene started with a still reenactment of one of Norman Rockwell’s paintings. The models would then come to life and act out a full scene revolving around the painting. It was a clever idea, at least.

I was in three such scenes. I didn’t have any speaking roles; all I had to do was hold still for a few minutes before the painting came to life. I also did a small dance in one scene.

If you’re curious, here are the three images I portrayed:

(The Runaway, 1958)

I’m 100% sure that this is one of the three pictures I modelled. 

(Family Home from Vacation, 1930)

Again, I’m 100% sure this is the right image. I remember that I was “sleeping” on some sort of a bench, and that I had a white box with a toy frog seemingly about to escape. I especially remember the frog because the director let me keep it after the show was over. 

(Family Grace, 1938)

I have to say I’m only about 75% sure this is the right image. What I remember is that I was sitting with a family around a dinner table praying. I very clearly remember feeling like it was the most boring of the three. I’d have guessed the family was larger, though, and that there was a turkey involved.

That said, Norman Rockwell has another very famous painting, Freedom From Want, which has a larger family and a turkey. However, they aren’t praying in that image, and, perhaps more notably, there’s no little boy whom I could have portrayed – hence why I think Family Grace is more correct.

I also can remember a few random lines of lyrics from some of the songs:

The main theme must have been called Norman Rockwell’s America, which featured the line,

Norman Rockwell’s America 

– let’s give three cheers for this great nation

One song, I imagine, must be called Gossip, Gossip, or something similar.

Gossip, gossip, mean old thing
Most unhappiness it brings
If you can’t say something nice
Then “don’t talk at all” is my advice
Yes, “don’t talk at all” is my advice

There was also a song called At the Hop, which featured a lot of na’s or la’s or bah’s or something along those lines. This is the song I danced in (and, if I remember correctly, which broke off of the scene based on the painting The Runaway). I believe the main line was

Let’s go to the hop, oh baby, let’s go to the hop

And, of course, there was a song about the Saturday Evening Post (the magazine which debuted many of Norman Rockwell’s paintings), which featured the chorus:

Oh, I love the Saturday Evening Post
It’s the magazine I read the most
I think you will discover
If you look beneath the cover
It is more than any other magazine comes close

No clue why/how I still remember these random lines 25 years later. They just stuck, for some reason.

Anyway.

Just this week, I was thinking about this musical again. Though it was about 25 years ago, I wondered if it was perhaps one of those things that someone recorded at the time then uploaded onto Youtube many years later for nostalgia’s sake, or perhaps to make fun of someone else who was in the musical when they were younger – someone like me, hopefully.

After a bit of searching, I couldn’t find any such video on Youtube. That’s okay; I knew it was a long shot.

Now then. All of the background I just explained is merely a prelude. Here’s where my story gets much more tricky:

Not only could I not find any such video of the musical on Youtube, I actually can’t find any evidence of the play existing at all.

After many hours of searching online, I haven’t been able to find a single scrap suggesting that this musical is even a real thing. Here are all of the interesting/relevant items I have discovered, though:

ONE

There is, in fact, a musical based on the life and work of Norman Rockwell called ROCKWELL. This musical premiered in Vermont in 1992 – at least one year after my musical of memory.

The same musical was then “re-premiered,” so to speak, with the new name Perfect Picture. This re-premier debuted in 2013.

(Interestingly, the full name of the new version is Perfect Picture: …but was all of this real? What a peculiar name for the topic, especially given my current predicament over this memory I am trying to research.)

Also, in addition to the dates not adding up, the track listing shares nothing in common with my musical 25 years ago.

Definitely not related to my musical. 

TWO

Clearly, this approach wasn’t leading me anywhere on my quest to find this illusive musical I was in. I decided that my next step, then, was to work backwards from the music/lyrics that I remembered. And so…

It turns out that At the Hop was actually a famous pop song from 1957 by Danny and the Juniors, which my musical clearly just licensed for the play.

Similarly, Gossip, Gossip is actually entitled, Gossip, Gossip, Evil Thing (not “mean old thing,” as I thought I remembered), and was a calypso song from the 60’s or 70’s by Jester Hairston. It, too, must have simply been licensed for my musical.

Though I can’t find any song entitled Norman Rockwell’s America with the exact line I provided above, I discovered a song called Celebrate America with the line

Celebrate America 

– let’s give three cheers for this great nation

- the only change being “Celebrate” instead of “Norman Rockwell’s.”

This song was written by Mark A. Brymer, but not for the sake of a musical. If this is indeed the same song – and either the words were changed for my musical, or else I’m simply remembering it wrong – then, once again, it must have been licensed. (I can’t seem to find the year Brymer’s song was written/published; it seems to be the right age for the musical, though.)

And, finally, if there’s a song about the Saturday Evening Post magazine, I can’t find any evidence of it online.

*sigh*

Back to searching for the musical itself then, since the music was a dead end.

THREE

Ah, but what’s this?

It turns out there is, in fact, a musical called Norman Rockwell’s America, which was written by Alex Mandel!

At last! This must be it, right?

…there is just one small problem, though:

Alex Mandel’s Norman Rockwell’s America first premiered at the Theatreworks New Works Festival in California in 2014.

Yep: two years ago.

And yet I was in a musical called Norman Rockwell’s America about 25 years ago.

All this to say, here are the options I have come to:

1. Alex Mandel is a plagiarizer, but somehow successfully erased all traces of the play he plagiarized. How very sneaky of him.
2. The musical I was in was simply some locally-written affair. (Maybe a college student’s assignment? – it was performed at a community college, after all.)
3. I’m really bad at researching things online and have misunderstood everything I’ve discovered and just don’t know the right places to look for the information I need.
4. I’m a time traveler and just don’t realize it.
5. My memory is simply playing tricks on me yet again.

Personally, I’m leaning towards some sort of mixture of #’s 2, 3, and 5.

I’m kind of hoping it’s # 4, though.

November and December 2015 Reading List

For some reason, I’ve been really into reading recently. That may sound obvious coming from me. But I mean: really into reading.

The weird thing, though, is that almost everything I’ve read recently has been very out-of-character for me. (Not every single book, but most of them.) Many of the books I’ve read are not books that I would normally ever have considered reading before. Since Halloween, I’ve foregone the high quality I usually aim for in literature, and just devoured some much more silly/just-for-fun books. I guess I’ve just being reading…guilty pleasures(?) Something like that, at least.

Oddly, since Halloween, I haven’t read any books unless they were mass-market paperbacks (with the exception of manga, which have their own size to them). Even books that sounds appealing to me right now, I won’t read unless they’re in mass-market-paperback form. Weird. I can't explain it.

* * *

So then. Since Halloween, I have read:

Novels & Novellas…

Shutter Island by Denis Lehane - 5/5

Of all the books I’m listing here, this is the first I read. And, at this point, it’s still by far the best of them all. I had already seen and loved the movie. The movie is actually very faithful to the book—rare. The book is very well written. Strong, believable characters. Absolutely great pacing—something you really don’t want to put down. And, of course, it remains a twisty, wonderfully psychological story.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut - 4/5

Congo by Michael Crichton - 3/5

The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad - 4/5

I actually read this once before, I believe about 8 years ago. I don’t remember having much of an opinion of it back then, but I thought it was rather interesting this time around. Very eerie. Good use of setting, and, of course, Mr. Kurtz remains a deeply interesting character.

Batman Arkham Knight: the Riddler’s Gambit by Alex Irvine - 2.5/5

Lost Horizon by James Hinton - 3.5/5

I was attracted to this because it takes place in Tibet. It’s nothing at all like the real Tibet, but it was still a cool, unique story. And the main character is one of the most well fleshed-out characters I’ve encountered in quite a long time (definitely the strongest character from all the books in this list, at least).

47 Ronin by Joan D. Vinge - 4.5/5

Now here’s an interesting one…this is, in fact, a novelization of the recent Keanu Reeves movie, which was universally panned. Keep in mind that this means the book came after the movie. I, on the other hand, actually read this book before seeing the movie. (I’ve since watched the movie.) That said, the book was GREAT. Very strongly written. Despite being the longest book out of this whole list, I breezed through it in about two days. A cool story, all about honor and integrity. Good emotional impact. The movie was...pretty bad. It didn’t go into the characterizations nearly as well as the book, and much of the emotional impact was lessened, or absent altogether. The movie was just an excuse for action; the book was a powerful story. Definitely—perhaps surprisingly—the second best book (after Shutter Island) in this list.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: Firestorm by Greg Keyes - 1.5/5

Not very good. Also, it had more typos than possibly any other published book I’ve read. My goodness, that editor should have lost his job over this.

Batman Arkham Knight by Marv Wolfman - 2/5

Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King - 3.5/5

The writing is good. The story is good. But, surprisingly, the movie is actually better. Much more satisfying, and the arrangement of the scenes is a bit better structured. Still a good plot though, and the characters are probably equally strong (in both the book and the movie).

Manga…

Final Fantasy Type-0 - 3.5/5

Final Fantasy Type-0: the Ice Reaper 1 - 4.5/5

Final Fantasy Type-0: the Ice Reaper 2 - 4.5/5

These are pretty fun, but if you’re not a fan of the Final Fantasy games already (or of manga), then there probably isn’t much here to appeal to you. I’m excited to continue the Ice Reaper series though.

Wolf Children by Mamoru Hosoda - 5/5

Absolutely, positively wonderful. Beautiful. Not much to say about it beyond that. A great manga for people who may not really care for manga.

Another by Yukito Ayatsuji - 4.5/5

Books I started but didn't finish...

Mortal Kombat by Jeff Rovin

Yes, this is a novel based on the video games. Bizarre tidbit about me: of ALL the books I own, this is the book I’ve owned the longest. Very weird, I know. Of all books, why this one? I read it when I first bought it (1993), and remember liking it. I dug it out of the closet last month, gave it another go, and, after about 60 pages, decided I’d rather just leave it as a fond memory.

The Thousand and One Ghosts by Alexandre Dumas

Read about half of it. Pretty interesting and well-written, just not what I’m currently in the mood for. 

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Read the first 30 or so pages. Even for Jane Austen, this one is especially well-written. Rather humorous, too. I only set it aside because, like Thousand and One Ghosts, it's not what I'm in the mood for right now.

Borderlands: Unconquered by John Shirley

Read about 30-40 pages. Horrible. Just…horrible.

Vampire Hunter D 3: Demon Deathchase by Hideyuki Kikuchi

Read about half. Meh.

Coin Locker Babies by Ryu Murakami

Read about 30-40 pages. The setting is very visual, eerie, and well-developed. However, there are a few things about it that bother me, of which I will only mention two:

1)      Personally, I don’t like biographical fiction. I don’t want to read about a fictional character’s entire life. Just isolate the days/months/years most relevant to the overall story and give me those.

2)      If you’re ever going to read it: absolutely, whatever you do, SKIP PAGE 1. Just start on page 2. It’s okay; you won’t miss out on anything important to the story. Trust me. The images described on page 1 are just…not okay. I really wish I could unsee them.  I sort of feel angry that Murakami included them at all; I haven’t quite forgiven him for that yet—hence why I decided to set this aside for now.

Down the Rabbit Hole by Peter Abrams

Read 30-40 pages (I guess that’s about how long it takes for me to come up with a basic opinion on a book…) Fun and quirky. Well written, but a little too cutesy for me right now. 

Again, this is everything I’ve read just since Halloween. I’ve been very, very busy.

Currently, I’m reading…

The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan

A little over halfway through so far. Interesting, intense story. Different spin on the vampire mythos. Not very well written though. The characters aren’t terribly well-crafted. And Chuck Hogan likes his thesaurus a little too much. I’m interested enough in the story to check out the other two books in the trilogy, but I’m not in a hurry to do so. (And no, I haven't watched the TV show based on these books.)

And, finally, my next book will (probably) be…

Shogun by James Clavell (I just ordered it though, and it’s possible it may not arrive until a few days after I finish the Strain. In which case, I may read one other book in the meantime. Not sure what…)

* * *

So there you have it. :)